Because I don't have a boyfriend I am needy, this is what my sister tells me.Poor Amanda, is what I hear them say.She must be lonely, she must feel out of place. Honestly I DON'T.From time to time I have these feelings but its normal. But I don't live my life watching couples pass me by and crying in my pillow for Mr. Right. I am capable of finding someone. I don't really have a reason why I am single, I guess I haven't really been putting myself out there. Maybe I am not fully ready for someone new, some thing serious. I think the door to my heart is shut at the moment.
I am not overjoyed to be single, but I don't need someone in my life. I am independent and strong on my own. I know too many girls whose lives revolve around boys. They need to have a boyfriends at all time or they cannot operate right. They relay on a man to make them feel good, to protect them and to make them feel pretty. I think that is pathetic. One friend of mine is a perfect example of this. I cannot remember a time when she was single. She depends on her boyfriend to drive her to work, school and anywheres else she needs to go. She expects him to stick up for her and fight off anyone who makes her mad. She demands that he spend everyday with her, and she cannot hang out with her friends unless he comes along.Its like she can not operate with out her man holding her hand.I can't understand why she needs to be so dependent on him.I suspose to give her security.
My friends and family either look up to me or down at me. Theres no happy medium. Either way people look at it, its never right. I am needy, I can't not find someone or I am not interested. Or on the other side, I am too independent, Im better off without a boyfriend and Im so strong.I don't know why I am single, its just that way. Im not searching for a man, but if someone came into my life I would be happy. I don't need a man to feel secure, but having a man to make me happier would be great.I do want a someone I can count on, a shoulder to cry on and lips I can kiss. I just feel like I don't need to settle or lower my standards for a guy who might only make me happy for a bit.I don't want to have to wait around for his call,or planning my day around him. And I don't need jealously and worried thoughts in my head.I don't need the fighting and rollercoaster of emotions.
I do not feel uncomfortable around couples. It doesn't not make me depressed or jealous.I don't feel left out or alone. Love is extraordinary, but when your in it just to be in it, its wrong. Its fake.When I find love, be happy for me.Or if you can find a great guy to love me that would be nice . But right now Im happy and content.So be happy for me too.
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4 comments:
Hey girl! Thank you for linking to my blog, I'm gonna link yours too :) Chris says me and him are going to have to take a road trip to Canada to visit you!! lol.
Hey Melanie!
Awesome... I think you and chris are the first blogs I am linked on.Right on.
Ha yes come to canada and visit me. Bring a hot boy for me too .LOL
haha wow. First time i read something that long that was good all the way through.
Boyfriends up in Canada sure do alot of things for their girlfriends. =p
Some girls are wayyy to insecure and need someone there at all times in order to feel like they have something to live for i guess. No one ever wants to be really alone, but i guess people's ideas about being to ugly or fat or this or that can sometimes make people doubt themselves. I hate my girlfriends friends for doing stuff like that to her all the time. I know my girlfriend is beautiful and everything. But for some odd reason it doesn't matter if everyone else in the room thinks otherwise. She needs me to tell her everyday that i love her and need her and think she's the most beautiful thing in the world.
One of her best friends envys us because of the relationship we have. She tries to date guys and then starts crying when they lose interest.
Sorry this became some long post for some reason. But be happy you're independent and don't rely on anyone to be happy. Also don't rush love. Good things ARE worth waiting for and you'll probably find the perfect guy in some quirky moment/event. Those are the best relationships, not the ones were you're out scouting/putting yourself out there at clubs.
I don't understand the concept of reporting (READ;call every second to tell what he/she is doing).
I had a gal pal who has to call the bf that she was going to the loo, work blah blah. her bf (she too!) will get a fit if both did not call or pick up the phone.
I call them crazy couple.
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