I am so low right now, not even low past low.I don't even feel low just numb. Knowing that I am unhappy with my life and there isn't much I can do about it. Im broke all the time, I can't do anything. I literally go to school, eat, work and sleep. And watch t.v. Thats it. Thats all I can afford to do, that all the energy I have. I am beginning to think going back to school was a mistake. I know that these are just the sacrifice I have to make so that I can have a better life, a better job and in the end more money. But It all sucks right now. I have no friends, no fun, no money, no love life and no excitement. I loved my last class and I enjoyed going to school. But this class bites, afternoon classes bite. Im trying to find something good out of it, but I can't. Class doesn't start until 1:00pm. Sweet..you'd think. I get to sleep in. WRONG. I have to catch the bus at 11 am. So therefore I get up at 9 to shower and eat and finish my homework.Class finish at 5pm and I don't get home until 6:30. I just need one good thing to happen to me. One thing to cheer me up. I can't even remember the last time I went out with my friends.
I feel like Im not even living. I pass up so many opportunities because Im broke, or working or in school.
I am aching to get student of the module. I worked so hard in my last class. I had perfect attendance,was never late passing in my assignments and did every bite of extra work there was. My marks were good, might not of been the highest, probably a high 80 or 90. But I have a feeling one of the suck ups in my class will get it. If you get picked you get your picture taken (loves it) and it gets hung up in the hall with the rest of the students of the module. One for each class. Just means your the best for that class. I want it I want it I want it. I wanna get atleast 3 before I graduate.
Christmas is coming and Im not really excited. We get two weeks off and I'll probably work most of it. At a job thats soooo boring. I am being cheap this year and I feel bad.I wanna buy my family soo much more. I wanna buy myself stuff and I never can.I haven;t bought clothes in forever,im hating my wardrobe right now.I need clothes to cheer me up.
Im not proofreading this stupid thing lol.. not in the mood. Lets play a game; how many mistakes can you find.LOL. Grammer, spelling,missing punctuation ,or just completely doesn't make sense lol.
1 comment:
Wow, I don't know what to say really. I mean, I can't tell you what to do because I myself, is in the same situation and sometimes have the same feelings. But you're right about it being part of the sacrifices that you make to have a better life and job! Now what you(no, actually 'WE') have to do is just have patience. Every thing will fall into place if we just allow them to!
Now stop this crazy talk, you're bring me down! :-)
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