A doubtful mind is a useless mind.

I decided to demolish the thought of being with Alex, atleast for the moment.And I have every intention of doing so.Even though the chances seem to be building a ladder right to my heart.

2 opportunities, to complete loses for words, I seem to be still in the running.
But I asked for signs and I received them, and I still don't know what to make of them. I complicate the situation. I analyze it, and dissected it, and leave this one moment into a dozen hand movements ,single words, and questions. It confuses me, I make to much of it and it becomes over thought.

A crush can be exhausting. Don't you find. ?You calculate in your head exactly what you will say to him and you work through numerous conversations to work with his changing reactions. Your sneaky, watching him, placing yourself in his foot steps. And then daydreaming. It takes up more time then I would admit. I don't believe I am up for the catch.



EDIT- I forgot to mention Alex came into my store on sunday.It was a total fluke for me because 10 minutes before I was telling one of the girls I work with about him, I didn't even see him walk in. I just turned towards the newborn section and there he was standing, facing me, wearing his baby on his chest in a baby carrier.The baby is a gilr and 3 months old.
He seen me right away. I was of course like always, speechless. He has that effect on me. I called Bridgett over and told her it was Alex. She of course yelled and pushed me towards him. But I declined and helped a few customers. I couldn't do it. I was literally feeling faint, I felt so hot and my cheeks were fire red. How silly is that. This crush is so silly. When I finally got the courage to go over and ask him if he needed help, I seen that Bridgett beat me to it. They had a conversations. My conversation! Hes very friendly and talkative. Then I seen her. She came towards him pushing a cart. I assume his girlfriend. But he told everyone at school he was single.
Either he is 1. single
2. they got back together
3. Its the babys mother and they are just shopping together for there baby. They are probably on good terms and stil friends.

I believe its number 3.So I felt aliltte shattered. But he still stared at me with wide eyes. He definitely reconigized me and I think he looked rather happy to see me. He looked so cute with his baby, you could tell he very proud and loves to show her off.