* My black pants don't fix very well
* I just bought tons of dress clothes for school and none are black.
* I don't have any money to buy more black clothes.
Last night was so dead. There might of been 8 people who came into the store. No one bought anything. I was sooo bored, I wanted to to cry. It was my first night and I cleaned the store top to bottom, sweep and moped the floor. I dusted everything and bought out garbage and boxes. I know it was Halloween, but wow...I am sooo used to be on the go running around. I like it better when its busy. I noticed that it doesn't seem to get that busy. But I decided Im gonna suck it up and try it out for a while longer. It may get better. I only have 6 hours this week!!?I need more hours than that..FOR SURE!!
Alex was at school today, but I didn't run into him once. Im getting discouraged. Im actually looking for once and no guys seem to be paying attention to me. My ego's been hurting for a while. Im feeling like its silly to watch Alex. I don't even know his real name. I might not even like him. But I want to get to know him. But Im not even getting the chance to.I got a month left and then I have afternoon classes. I just feel like it somethings gonna happen it will, and it will fall into place. But I hate waiting and guessing. If nothings gonna happen then I wanna know.And I'll get over it.Its a new day and I'm still holding a grudge.I was so mad last night.After work I call my mom to get her to pick me up. I wait on the phone while my dad, mom and sister fight over who will pick me up. I end up takin the because no one wanted to drive to the mall and get me. Its not the fact that I had to take the bus, Im a pro at that now. I was angry because my Dad chauffeurs my little sisters EVERYWHERES. On any given night he would drive them to the mall and end up picking on up at 9 and then the other at 9:30. I never get drives, I usually always find my own way. I feel like I get treated differently. Maybe its my fault for being so independant. But I get really bitter and resentful. My parents just say at my age I should buy everything, I waste my money, I should find my own drives,Im too lazy, I should help around the house more. But they seem to forgot that I have been paying for most of my stuff since I was 16. I payed for most of my prom dress and accessories, my grad pictures and gruduation fee. I have ben buying my school supplies and clothes since 16. My sisters who are 15 and 18 pay for nothing.Jessika my 18 year old sister just got a job last month. She doesn't pay for a cent. I pay board every 2 weeks, have been since I was 18. Grr..it just makes me made, because my sisters get everything, there spoiled.And I don't think I ever was.
Anways....enough lol.
2 comments:
Ok, now first, as far as you feeling left out at home, that is going to happen when you are the oldest(aren't you?). I get sort of the same treatment here at home at times. But me, I don't really care about it that much because I know my mom loves me and thats all that matters!
Now, on to the ego stuff! Now I understand most people getting down because they feel they're not being noticed by the opposite sex but c'mon! Are you joking? Really! You're starting to make me think you're not the pretty girl in all those pictures. Maybe you're someone else! ;-)
But no, I beleive its you in those pics and I also have come to the conclusion that, you are one absolutely gorgeous female! And me personally, I would kill to actually have the chance to meet someone as good looking as yourself.
I'm not just saying this to sound good or earn cool points with you either, thats just how I truly feel. And I guarantee you someone is looking at you, you just don't know it but there is! So just keep your head up and don't concern yourself with trying to find a man because it is the man that should be trying to find you and get your attention, beautiful! :)
It's okay, some days I wake up and don't feel as beautiful as I should. Meanwhile on other days, I feel like I'm the hottest dude I know on my block!
Most of the time though, I really don't care. I don't shave for a couple of days and sport my nerdy glasses and I can pass off as an intellectual.
Heh. =)
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