Sick again!!

Its been a while. Ive been sick. Like always. You'd think I don't take care of myself, for how may times I get sick in a year. This time its the stomach flu. Its weird Monday night Donnie and I went and played tennis. We were supurisingly fabolous for begginers, we played for about 30 mins and then I felt so sick to my stomach and the had worse headache. My whole body clentched up and my body was soo sore I couldn't even move.

3 days later and I haven't eaten a thing. Atcually I lie. I have eaten yogurt, 2 spoonfuls of cherios and 3 pieces of pineapple. And a bottle of poweraide. IN 3 DAYS. Im gonna go weight myself. Good way to shed some pounds. Unhealthily I might add too. But oh well.

Donnies now working in Halifax 3 days a week. Wednesday til Friday night. The first week was tough, I was really lonely, and felt lost. But its getting alittle easier. Im sure it will be normal pretty soon. Especially when he gets his first pay. We both have been excruciatingly broke for the past few months. Its such bummer. We haven't been to a movie or out to eat in ages. And I have not been shopping, which is stressful enough. I need some new clothes!

Schools well blah. Finished booking with a 90. I was sure I was going to fail, it was a really tough course for me, but in the end I enjoyed it and felt like I basically understood the stuff. I am now in Simply Accounting which suchs too. I don't feel like I know anything, becasue my teacher isn't teaching, hes just showing us how to do the stuff step by step. Im not sure if I will be able to do it on my own for the exam. Plus missing 3 days is not good. I know I miss alot of time. And40 percent of it is when im sick. But 60 percent is because its soo boring, and I hate it. I need to smarten up. Not gonna happen, I have probably already done my damage. Which means I have to find my ON THE JOB TRAINING, myself. I better start putting some thought into that.

I think I will try and go eat something. Wish me luck.

Wedding!

I slept in. So now I can't go to school. Usually I wouldn't mind, but I didn't want to miss any time in this class in fear that I will fail. We are taking bookkeeping and numbers confuse me. Numbers send me into a stay of confusion, I write then backwards and never know where to put them. Missing one day is going to be like missing a year for me. So I am going to have to read my text box, and call up cat to come save me and show me what my little brain isn't understanding.

Terris wedding was this weekend and it couldn't of been better weekend. It was a beautiful and exhausting weekend. Friday night was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Let me tell you I was quivering in my flip flops. I was the first to walk down the isle and I was petrified. I couldn't walk slow enough, and I didn't know who too look at. I kept making these awkward faces. I found it hard to smile. The day of the wedding just flew by. The wedding itself was actually only 30 mins or so. It was beautiful. Terri and Jeff looked soo happy and they both looked fabulous!

On the other hand I look horrid. My hair was ugly. I was disappointed with it. I told the hairdresser a few things I didn't like and she pretend to fix it, but didn't actually, so I just gave up. I hate telling a stranger your not happy and it looks pretty. And my dress washed me out and made me look 20 pounds heavier.

The most wonderful thing about the wedding tho was Donnie came. I loved sitting up in the wedding party table and being able to look at him. He looked soo cute. And we slowed danced a few times. Im so glad he came.

Donnies gone away for 3 days to Halifax for some doctor appointments. So Im kind of lonely. I guess its time to call the girls up and catch up!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY! IM 22 YEARS YOUNG!!

I hate spelling tests

My posts seems to be getting very sparse. I just don't have as much time as I used to..A boyfriend takes up a lot of time, and so does sleeping. My number one pass time.

Ive been sick for the past 2 weeks. Feeling really crappy. I went to the Doctors and I have to get some tests. Its mostly likely a stomach diease like Chrones. I'd just rather find out what I have and deal with it. And maybe fix it. I am just sick of being sick. I fear going out because I know I will have diarrhea, and my stomach is always bloated and my muscles are tightened and cramped.

Today was a good day. I felt semi good. Maybe because I didn't eat much. Its seems like eveything that touches my lips upsets my tummy.

I went to see "Friends with Money" with Jerrica and Kayla.I need some friends with money!! Lots of money, and they are generous and like to spend it on me lol. I really enjoyed the movie tho. It was funny and very believable. There was no set plot or story line. It just seemed like life. Real things that happen to people. I recommend it to everyone!

I have to go study 200 spelling words. I HATE SPELLING.

me and my man.

He seduced me.

I try not to compare this relationship with my old one, but I ocasionally tend to do that. Actually I do it a lot. There are of course good and bad things, but I am trying to focus on the good things. I will admit I am not falling as fast for Donnie as I had for Mark. But whose to say that's a bad thing. With Donnie I feel like things are running smoothly, my feelings for him are flourishing at a calming pace for me. And for once I am relaxed in this relationship. I may of loved Mark more than anything in this world, but I was always walking on egg shells. I was filled with anxiety.

Donnie makes me feel secure with everything around me and I don't worry that tomorrow he will be mad with me, or he will see another girl he likes, or hes online chatting with girls. I trust him 100 percent and my mind isn't even occupying those bad thoughts.

We are complete opposites, hes everything Im not. Hes shy, caring, giving, quiet, always thinking about others and always trying to please me. I on the other hand am selfish, loud, sarcastic, bossy and outgoing. I tell it how I see it and sometimes drill it into your head until you want to beat me. But I try to be a better person because of him. I see the way he treats me, which is even at all times. Hee hasn't lost his cool, or got mad at me. Hes always kind and caring. And always gives me what I want.

I am happy with this relationship. I think I might keep him around for a while.

Its all in my eyes!

I just finished a week off from school, and I was busy everyday. It just flew by. Ive been working a lot, well a lot more than I am used to. And my body's exhausted. I skipped school today because I couldn't even keep my eyes open. Right now I am actually thinking about going back to bed until I work tonight at 6.

I have been planning out the Bachelorette party which is Saturday. I have spent so much money. I am getting bitter about this party because the other bridesmaid, hasn't really brought anything, and hasn't been helping to plan it. I am in the midst of making Penis nametags. But I am not sure if they really look like penises. I used peach colored felt and brown pompoms. There kind of cute, they will be attached to the girls shirts with cloth pins. I also made Terri's veil thingy to wear all night. Its made it with a Tiara and white material and I dyed the material pink at the bottom. Ive been wearing it aorund the house!!!

I haven't seen Donnie since Friday, Im either working or at school or sleeping. But I think its sort of a good thing, because I have been feeling a little overwhelmed with him. I don't want to be in that relationship where you spend every day together and do every little thing together. I had that before and it didn't turn out so well. I want to be in a relationship when its cool to hang out with our separate friends, and its ok to go a few days with out seeing each other. I want to be able to hang out with a group of our friends, not just me and him. But he doesn't have any friends up here, so its a drag. Sometimes I feel guilty because I go hang out with my friends, he just stays home, and does whatever he does.

Being in a relationship is bringing out a lot of emotions I don't like feeling. It has its good side of course too.

You know what I want, I want a vacation. A real one. Do you remember when you were a kid and nothing ABSOLUTELY nothing matter. Time was the last thing on our minds. I want that feeling back. I want to run around, do whatever I want and not have to worry that at 6 p.m. I have to work and the next morning I have school. I guess that is a big part of being an adult. You have a schedule, that you must follow or there are consequences. Wouldn't it be great to hop on a plane and go to a tropical place, and the only things on your schedule are tanning, swimming and eating. Not a worry in those big blue skies would be for me. That would be fantasic. Im gonna to back to bed and dream about that.

Running out of time

I have a bacherlette party to plan, which is in like 10 days. Well its not just me, but the other bridesmaid, which i have been emailing and trying to get together to plan this out, but we haven't. Im alittle ticked off, because nothing I MEAN nothing is planned. I don't even have many ideas?!!!And little money! Im stressing. Any ideas?????? HELP I know we are going to someone's place, party talk...games? Then to the clubs.

Ms.Crabs.

I adore my new phone, its soo pimpin'! I feel so high tech and cool holding it. And I am constantly listening to music on it. I love it I love it I love it.
SPRING IS HERE. It was so beautiful today, and its suppose to be even nicer tomorrow. I think I shall wear one of my new skirts. Im gonna look soo purrty.
Ok Ok.. you know how I hate to talk about people. Gossiping is a horrible habit mine. But get this, it needs to be said. Theres a girl in my class we will call her "PAM". Pam is always scratching herself. First of all her hygiene is not all that clean, but she's the nicest girl.He hair is usually greasy and short so it has like all these cow licks. I catch scratching her crotch, not just scratching but digging at her crotch. And shes always wearing splash pants so it this annoying sound. It makes me gag. She MUST have grabs or something. And she needs to get it fixed. I can't stand looking at her digging anymore. Im gonna up chuck my mars bar.

Falling like a Shooting Star

I attended a baby shower for my friend last Saturday. Which was wonderful. It was cheerful, but a tad boring. She took 2 hours to open presents.I was ready to just run up and rip them all open. Who saves wrapping paper?

Terri's wedding shower is this Saturday. I was baffled as to what to get for a wedding shower gift. I've never been to one. In the end I looked at her registries and picked out a white turkey platter and a turkey baster. The baster actually has a brown turkey as the holder thingy. Its rather cute. I want to buy a new outfit for the shower. I want to get dolled up, I mean my friends getting married, I must look mature and well put together. And its another excuse to go shopping!!

Schools a drag. I been missing quite a lot of days, which isn't good, because they could stop giving me my student loan. Im just getting sick of typing, I fall asleep. And all my friends are in the main building or in afternoons. I am soo lonely.

Tonight at work I had to get on my hands and knees with a putty scraper and scrap and dig gum, stickers and other gross food stuck to the floor. I think its time for a new job. This isn't retail, this is child labor.!!

Its all in his words.

In your intense eyes I see a fate, ones clear as the bluest sky on a warm summer day.

You laughter makes me laugh, even in one of my foulest moods.

Its like u carass me with your soft hands, and everything melts away, the chaotic thoughts in my mind subside if only for moments and the world around me fades away.

Your words always soft, gentle and kind, melt away the ice around my heart.

I fear for my own words, I fear I am pushing you away, but I let my mind run and it is hard to catch.

But you save me with your speech, your dedication and your sweet sweetness.

I was never good at being completely real with my heart, I can belt, rant and rave about any other subject, but when it comes to the sweet music from my heart I shy away.

You are breaking through and you are opening me up. In a matter of time my heart will exposed for all your love.

blah blah blah

Ive been shopping for the past week. I got my student loan and my income tax. I am now waiting to get the new Sony cell phone. They were out the last time I was at Rogers. I hope they have some tomorow!!!Im excited.
Things are going great with Donnie and I. Weve been hanging out alot.



better post soon!!

He Bought me Tuips!

alittle magic at the mall

I stayed home from school. I can't bare to type reports anymore. School is turning into a headache for me. I have a week off at the first of April. I racing through my calander!

We went shopping today! We spend hour there. No complaints. He didn't drag his feet, he didn't whine, he was a pleasure.
What a suprise.I bought a few tops, some new make up and a movie.
Oh and I bought a frame. He drew me a picture of a rose the other day, I wanted to frame it. It is beautiful.
We ate supper at Don Cherry's in the mall, his treat of course. This time I tried to pay. He wouldn't let me.

Times a Changin'!

Im feeling alitte dominating in this relationship. Donnie leaves everything up to me. He's overly laid back, but not just laid back, he wants me to like and enjoy everything. So I chose everything, I control everything and I do no wrong. I suppose this is all new and soon it will change.
The only things I can find bad about him are actually good things, that are sort of annoying in my mixed up brain. WeÂ’ve hung out all weekend. Very relaxed, and low key. A lot of cuddling and kissing. We went to dinner a few times. And of course he pays. He treated me to a binge at the bulk barn, loading up on tons of candies. And he bought me a new book and the cosmo mag.
That was almost 30 dollars! Plus supper and a smoothie. A girls gonna be spoiled! I love it though.

Hes very into me, as I am likewise. I just think not at the same level. Im not scared, Ive just been out of the game for so long, that it feels funny to have someone clinging to me. Someone calling me and messaging me. It feels nice. I just have a lot of mixed reactions. I like my independence. And he wants to spend a lot of time together. I feel like I always have to check in.

Ok enough about this. Its new. Im happy, hes sweet and cute. That's all that matters. Im am trying not to stress myself out, over these silly things. I need time and lots of it. He will be more confident and comfortable in time. This will be WON-DER-FUL!!

Date 2.

We've known each other for a week, but I feel more comfortable with him then I have with anyone else I've been with. We've been talking about it, saying how it just feels strange. But a good strange. Theres some connection.

I sense I am probing for negative things in him, I think its a naturual reaction for me. Boy likes me,I get scarred. And now I like boy which makes me even more scarred. Its not that Im scared, its just I don't know what to do. Ive lost control of my thoughts, of my emotions. And I think I just wanted to make a bigger deal, make problems that aren't there. Don't ask me why.

Date 2- We went to an early dinner.

Then we walked around the mall, just looking at things. He wanted me to look at clothes, but I really don't believe he wanted to, what guy wants to follow a girl around while she's shopping. I declined.

Then we took the bus downtown, we were going to play pool, but we decided to stay on the bus, for the full bus ride. He's not from here, so we thought it would be cool to jump on some bus and just wander around. And thats what we did a 2 hours. It was cute, and sort of romantic. We were able to talk and cuddle. We talked about everything! We joked and laughed. Our first kiss was on the bus, we stopped at an old persons home, and the bus driver stepped off to run to the store next door. We were alone. I knew it was going to happen. You can just tell, when you eyes stare for a little longer each time. I lick you lips or smile, hoping to draw attention to them. I leaned forward and kissed him. It was sweet, 3 medium length kisses. No we did not make out on the bus. But the rest of the way home, we would randomly kiss here and there.

After our bus ride we walked down the street holding hands, and played pool for like 30 mins. I ve got bored. I wasn't really wearing the right outfit for pool. My jeans were low, and I was scared I would be flashing everyone my thong. I was consistly yanking them up and pullin my shirt down.

We decided to go back to my house, we jumped in a cab. And watched a movie upstairs. He met Jessika, my middle sister, who was the only one home. She thinks he's cute. She never thinks any of the guys I like are cute. She stayed out with us for a bit and talked. He was alittle quiet.

The night eneded with a kiss.Actually a few kisses!

Alittle late with this post.

I have a few hours before the 2nd date. I'm feeling a mixture, both negative and positive. Everyones been telling me to stop over thinking. But thats me. Amanda The-Over-Thinker. I am less frantic as I have been in on other dates. I keep getting chills when I think of him, or what he is in mind, because he's sort of made up. Things I don't know about him, the way he acts, the way he talks, is all made up in my head. But I keep thinking of him placing his hand on my knee. It was soo suttle, but meant more than anything that night. It was a pure touch. It wasn't a touch of I want sex. Im horny. It was his way of showing me he liked me.

From talking to him online, he seems too nice. He seems too positive. And you would say theres nothing wrong with that, its better than being mean and negative, But too much of something is never good. He s trying to hard. But isn't that what people do on a date. Try to impress each other. I just don't want to be on a date with someone who is fake. I don't want to have to wait 2 months to see the real him. The cranky, spoiled boy. Yes i suspose you need to feel comfortable to be able to be yourself, and it is the only second date. But I want real, no games, straight forward.

Yes I am going on about nothing. I may be the one to sabotog this relationship before it blooms. But isn't that what I always do? I rumble about mindless problems, things I hate, things that bug me. I swear this time, I will give him a fair chance. A chance that consists of more than 2 dates. I am open and ready for this. I just need to be more open, less permant. Its a hard thing for me to change. Its hard for me to accept people, people who are in line to be my boyfriends. Im scared. I always admit that. And I don't want to waste my time.

But hes going to be different, i can feel it. Its this warm feeling in my belly. Its the sparkle in my eye. Hes nothing like Mark. I don't want to compair the two first dates. But, just their characters are differen't, their personalities, the way they carry themselves. Mark was all for show, loud, cocky, confident and all joking. Donnie seems reserved, gentle, sweet and a mommas boy.

A mixture of both would be great. But whos to know Donnie might have all those traits, or I might be wrong about everything. His sister is loud, and funny, he shouldn't be far from her. But then again, they may be total opposites.

Smiling arces

2nd date on friday. And I am completely estactic. I can't even think straight. Im soo pumped. I think i better go out for a jog. He sent me the sweetest email. I couldn't stop smiling. Whats gotten into me?

Pubcrawl Pictures

dreamless

overcooked. spun out. anxious. over-reacting. suspious. fearful. disappointed. baffled. wide awake. sarcastic. outrageous.