I have a few hours before the 2nd date. I'm feeling a mixture, both negative and positive. Everyones been telling me to stop over thinking. But thats me. Amanda The-Over-Thinker. I am less frantic as I have been in on other dates. I keep getting chills when I think of him, or what he is in mind, because he's sort of made up. Things I don't know about him, the way he acts, the way he talks, is all made up in my head. But I keep thinking of him placing his hand on my knee. It was soo suttle, but meant more than anything that night. It was a pure touch. It wasn't a touch of I want sex. Im horny. It was his way of showing me he liked me.
From talking to him online, he seems too nice. He seems too positive. And you would say theres nothing wrong with that, its better than being mean and negative, But too much of something is never good. He s trying to hard. But isn't that what people do on a date. Try to impress each other. I just don't want to be on a date with someone who is fake. I don't want to have to wait 2 months to see the real him. The cranky, spoiled boy. Yes i suspose you need to feel comfortable to be able to be yourself, and it is the only second date. But I want real, no games, straight forward.
Yes I am going on about nothing. I may be the one to sabotog this relationship before it blooms. But isn't that what I always do? I rumble about mindless problems, things I hate, things that bug me. I swear this time, I will give him a fair chance. A chance that consists of more than 2 dates. I am open and ready for this. I just need to be more open, less permant. Its a hard thing for me to change. Its hard for me to accept people, people who are in line to be my boyfriends. Im scared. I always admit that. And I don't want to waste my time.
But hes going to be different, i can feel it. Its this warm feeling in my belly. Its the sparkle in my eye. Hes nothing like Mark. I don't want to compair the two first dates. But, just their characters are differen't, their personalities, the way they carry themselves. Mark was all for show, loud, cocky, confident and all joking. Donnie seems reserved, gentle, sweet and a mommas boy.
A mixture of both would be great. But whos to know Donnie might have all those traits, or I might be wrong about everything. His sister is loud, and funny, he shouldn't be far from her. But then again, they may be total opposites.
From talking to him online, he seems too nice. He seems too positive. And you would say theres nothing wrong with that, its better than being mean and negative, But too much of something is never good. He s trying to hard. But isn't that what people do on a date. Try to impress each other. I just don't want to be on a date with someone who is fake. I don't want to have to wait 2 months to see the real him. The cranky, spoiled boy. Yes i suspose you need to feel comfortable to be able to be yourself, and it is the only second date. But I want real, no games, straight forward.
Yes I am going on about nothing. I may be the one to sabotog this relationship before it blooms. But isn't that what I always do? I rumble about mindless problems, things I hate, things that bug me. I swear this time, I will give him a fair chance. A chance that consists of more than 2 dates. I am open and ready for this. I just need to be more open, less permant. Its a hard thing for me to change. Its hard for me to accept people, people who are in line to be my boyfriends. Im scared. I always admit that. And I don't want to waste my time.
But hes going to be different, i can feel it. Its this warm feeling in my belly. Its the sparkle in my eye. Hes nothing like Mark. I don't want to compair the two first dates. But, just their characters are differen't, their personalities, the way they carry themselves. Mark was all for show, loud, cocky, confident and all joking. Donnie seems reserved, gentle, sweet and a mommas boy.
A mixture of both would be great. But whos to know Donnie might have all those traits, or I might be wrong about everything. His sister is loud, and funny, he shouldn't be far from her. But then again, they may be total opposites.
3 comments:
Wow, girl.
SLOW down. Don't dwell upon things; it'll only stress you out more.
I used to be (and still somewhat am) like you. I think about so many things nobody else can even think of wondering about. So I definitely know where you're coming from.
But, like I said, don't think about it. Thinking about it will do you no good.
Be good.
;)
I know I know.. but thats me, and its not easy to change it. But I have been suprisingly better.
tell us about the seconde date!!!! were dieing to know how it went....
Post a Comment