A&W for lunch.

I am a Working Gal again. I got a job at the mall in a childrens store. It wasn't my first choice, but she gave me the job on the spot and she's willing to work around my school shedule which is great. So I took it. And plus Im broke. Beggers can't be choosers. The uniform is all black. I am a bright and cheery person, so I don't have much black. I had to buy new black comfortable shoes.Because all mine are high heel stiletos. lol can't be workin in those. And I had to buy black pants and tops. I hate black lol!

The boy Im crushing on was not at school today. I feel like a little kid in grade school. Me and Jerrica went to his class and looked on the door at the attendance sheet. We were tryin to find his name. We chose Alex. It seems to suit him. There are only 4 boys in the class dwayne (yuck) nick and I can't remember then other name. So we've been calling him Alex. I bet its not even his name. I get this huge grin when I see him, and giggle and blush. What a nerd lol.

Well I suppose I should go hem my pants and get ready for my first day of work.

I call him Alex

I don't even know his name, but like always I am interested in him , I catch myself watching him and so does everyone else. But He doesn't seem to notice me. This confuses me. I think I need to be louder make him see me. Next time I see him I will smile. A warm smile is always a good sign. How I can lay in my bed and dream about a guy I don't know, suprises me. This maybe a goner. They always are, I develope a crush and then the crush evoporates, I get bored. I throw it away.

Shiver me timbers.

Me and Terri.. Goofing around at Dooly's

Expensive Blog

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I SPY with my little EYE.

Bus boy hasn't been on the bus in two days. Im over him, the interest has faded over the days. It silly how fast my mind tumbles along.I do my best thinking on the bus, straing out the window I day dream and ease drop on conversations. I watch people read and eat and chatter with people in the seat infront of them.
I like to pretend I can read minds, but sometimes I fool myself and wonder if I really can. I look at people and imagine what they are thinking, its like I can hear their voice in my head, talking about their bad day and their growling stomach.

I spotted a cute guy at school. I don't think he has spotted my though.Ive seen him a few times around school.He very cool looking, but in a "I don't know that I'm cool" way.Again he doesn't look like the type I usually go for. But Im beginning to realize I don't know what type is my type. I know I like guys with dark hair, preferably curly. I know a lot of things I don't like in a guy. Facial hair is one. And he has a goatee. But it suits him. So I will bend for him. Im not going to stalk him or get someone to find out his name. I'll play it cool, keep my eye on him.And in due time we will bump into each other lol. I don't even know his name.

It sounds like Im boy crazy. Which I am not. I just notice people. Girls and Guys. I am an observer. And I noticed him, I noticed plenty other people. I see this girl all the time. I love her style, its very retro sugar girl. I always like to see her in the halls, to see whats she's wearing. I hope someone notices me and likes to see my everyday to see what I am wearing. What a compliment that would be.

Bus Boy.

I found a boy on the bus that interests me.Im not sure why. Hes quiet and he always clutches a tim hortons cup. I think coffee breath it digusting.Its the worst. He always has head phones on hie ears or around his neck. I wonder what he listens to. Today he sat infront of me. I leaned in closer to hear his music.Nothing. The back of his neck was smooth and hairless, a wonderful sign. Hes not really my type, well i mean the type of guy Im usually attracted too.But I can help but watch him, not in a creepy way. He has caught my eyes a few times. He was black chucks, jeans and a green jacket. This must be his daily uniform. My guess is he's 26.

Neck...

Ask me what my favorite part of the male body is and I will tell you the back of his neck. I always catch myself looking at the back of a guys neck. This can tell alot. I love the back of a man's neck.

*I believe if it is smooth and hairless he is trustworthy and passionate.
*If he has a trail of hair he is outgoing and heard to read.
*If it is hairy and messy he is reckless and unreliable.

Im weird I know.

North Country

Ive never been one to cry during a movie.Rarely does it happen. I hold it in, bit my lip and tilt my head back to keep the tears in.At the end of the movie I always run to the bathroom and cry,usually sobbing. Probably from having to hold it in. Don't ask me why. I guess I just hate crying in front of people.But I think Im so into the movie, my mind's reeling, my eyes are narrowed in, I don't want to cry and distract myself. So I always save it for the end.

I went to the theatres to see "North Country" with Charlize Theron.Im blown away. For once I feel almost speechless.I have never sat through a movie and felt so angered.My jaw aches from clenching my teeth. "Base on a true story" always gets me. You there some truth hidden in the movie. And you know in the end it will mean something. Well this movie left a dent on my heart. Its just crazy to think that say 15 years ago women could be treated like this. One women had so many problems on her plate, so many hardships to overcome.We watched her struggle and break down, but never give up.I don't know if I could be that strong if I was in that situation. I'd probably back down or just give up.

I love a movie that isn't about the glitz and glamour.No fancy affects, gorgeous customs or over the top pompous dialog. The movie was, based on facts and thats all it needed. I think the acting was phenomenal. What else can I say.The movie made me think.And I love to think. Go see it!

Did I go home and cry in the bathroom?Yes.

have u ever seen a green flower?

My kittens puking all over the floor. I have cleaned it up four times now. Its disgusting really slimy. Ewwww. I guess Im gonna go to the movies with Cat. Im so bored.I just wanna get out. All I thought about today was clothes. So I stayed away from the mall, so that I couldn't spend any money. I need to drop off some more resumes!Im having a sour day. I slept most of it and have been in my jammies all day, right now at 8:31 Im still in my jammies lol.

She Sells Sea Shells by the Sea Shore.

Im trying organized my documents, by making new folders and subfolders for my pictures and writing. We learnt this in school. Im taking computer fundamentals right now, I know most of what the teacher is teaching, but there are a few things that are new to me.

I am spending my loan money, Im throwing it left and right.I am so not budgeting. I need a job, I have 200 dollars left to last me until March. Ahhhh not gonna happen. I applied for unemployment, but I highly doubt I will be lucky enough to receive it. But whatever atleast I've tried.

I applied online to shoppers and a clothing store. And I dropped my resume off at an Art store. That would be a rockin job, it usually dead so I could work on home work, and draw.And I'd get a discount on art supplies.

I need to ease myself off restaurant food. I go out to eat too much and Im getting fatter. All the fat is heading straight for my tummy, my rolls are multiplying. I went to Don Cherry's tonight. My friends and I go out to eat alot, its one of our fave things to do. We get to socialize and eat.It gives us something to do, because there isn't always some thing to do here in Moncton. But it has to end lol. No more fast food or restaurants!And I mean it!

Its a rainy day ands my hairs not liking it.

I started to have this dicussion on another blog and it began to ring so true to me. We know that girls are or guys can be golddiggers. Using a guy for his money. But did you know that some girls (maybe guys too, but I'll stick to what I know) are with guys to make themselves feel better. You tend to see a really slender girl with a fat guy. On her own she feels fat and flawed. But with her fat boyfriend she feels better, she feels tiny. Sometimes you see a beautiful women with a unattractive man.And you think to yourself what does she see in him. Well she sees how much prettier she looks standing next to him. She can compair what she thought were her flaws to her boyfriend's flaws and she feels better about herself.

I can relate to this theroy, this way of thinking but I am not so overboard. I rarely go out with a guy skinnier than me. First of all nobody wants to cuddle with a stick, a girl wants big strong arms around her. I would feel so huge laying next to a tiny guy. I of course want to walk around with my boyfriend next to me and not have people see me as big compaired to him. I want to feel skinny, therefore I chose a guy bigger than me. Im not talking over weight, like some girls might choose. I mean he just has to be bigger than me.

Its funny how self concious we can be, we chose someone who makes us feel comfortable with our bodies.But if they knew what reasons were on our mind for chosing them, it would probably make them feel less comfortable with themselves.

Let me say one last thing. If I met a guy who was wonderful and sweet and smart and I liked him, I would go out with him if he was skinner than me. But most of the times, I look for guys who are bigger.Taller. And persue them.

"I think I'll wear my boobs tonight" quote curtsey of Joanne

Don't you just hate it when someone cancels on your last minute? Its ticks me off so much. I thought we had made plans last weekend, but cat finally called me back after i called her all week and emailed. She didn't feeling like going anymore. Shed rather stay home and do homework. She called at 7 olcock. I was quite annoyed. After doing some last minute scheduling we made it out none the less.

Where did we go?You know where we went lol. My oldest sister Gillian, Joanne and I headed to Miss Behaven at 9 olcock. To see Canadian Thunder! Male strippers. Im a newbie..Ive never seen any strippers lol.So I was expecting dirty guys gyrating on the stage to corny music. But..I was pleasantly surprised. Most of the guys wears smokin! They put on a stellar show. Mt favorite dancer was The human Vibrator. Man he did some moves that just rocked my world. All night ladies would pay 5 bucks to go on the stage and getting alittle dirty move done to them. Omg, some of these sex moves I have never seen before.Amazing lol.

Back'ne was our least favorite.We nicknamed him.Actually we were nicknaming alot of people. I walked in the mens bathroom to pee and he was washing his hands. His back was facing me and damn, it was cover in pimples. I yelled .."Damn" because it was gross. But he turned around and smiled. Yuck. He was so ugly lol.

I loved the crowd all the girls was dancing and screeching. Everyone was having so much fun. My voice is so horse this morning from all the screaming.There weren't too many older women, they were mostly our age.

One girl must of spent 100 and some bucks on these guys.She kept going on the stage. She always had this huge wedgie .She we named her "The Wedge". My sister caught one of the guys thongs and "The Wedge" begged her to let her smell the thong. Gross

Also there was a girl we named 'Hoops" for some reason she kept stating me down all night. It was creepy. She kept pointing to me. I have no clue who she was. I think she liked me. Or she liked my sexy man vest.lol Who knows. But "Hoops" starting giving me dirty looks when she caught me telling Joanne that she wouldn't stop staring at me.

By the second half of the show we made it to front row. He seem one penis and it was ginourmous!!! The guys would stand right over top of us there sweat was dripping on us. That wasn't cool. Kind of grossed me.

I'd say 9/10 night. I dont think I'd go again. I think Ive seen it all . lol

"These boots were made for walking...."

I've been typing all day in class my fingers grew some muscles I actually feel nauseated looking at this computer screen.After a long day of typing, I decided to go to the mall after school.I spent 200 dollars in roughly an hour?How can I do that?First of all this is money that I cant be spending. Argh I need a job. I made it walmart and I was stocking up on some much needed food when I get to the cash and it my bank card says "insufficient Funds" Argh I hate when that happens. I had money but its in my other account and I had to transfer money over and I only know how to do that on the computer. So to make a story short I am at home eating rice w/ soy sauce. Not bad..but not great. We have no food, amd my parents are gone away for the weekend.

I need a nap Im deathly tired! Tonight me and some girlfriend are suppose to be going to a strip club.Ive never been before so this should be interesting! Its male dancers and the lead dancers name is " Canadian Thunder!!!
Its gonna be sex-otic!!!!!!
Nap time.

Im not Cheap.. Im free... Hahaha...
so tired..One more day of school. Weekend. Yessir!

its just a phase.

Do I owe anyone any favors? No. Your girlfriends flat chested and shes doesn't like sex. She won't go down on you. What makes you think you can run to me to forfill your needs? Get a new girlfriend, or live with the one you have. Either way don't look at me to help you out.

I have seen first hand what guy's are like and Im scared to get a boyfriend. They are Basically all the same. [note there are a few exceptions.] They will stray if given the perfect chance.They will fool around and pretend like it was innocent. Tempt them and they will be tempted. So what am I wishing for? What am I begging for? Another reason to cry. A chance for someone to replace me. Guys are always looking. Its like testing driving an expensive car. They can't afford the car, but they will keep test driving it. And then turning around and going home to there old pick up.

I can tempt a taken boy, so any girl could probably temp my taken boy. Its that simple. I don't think anything lasts forever. It's a myth. Its a fairy tale we want to believe, one we search for. We pray that this one could be our forever. But he in most cases he rarely is. What is forever? A lazy word that everyone says to make there partner feel secure. "W'ell be together forever" I'll love you forever" "You'll be forever in my heart" But we say so many things that are scripted, its what the other person wants to hear. And we probably want it to be the truth. I seen forever in my eyes two weeks into the relationship. I meant it. Im not sure if he did. But he played a song with his words, plucking the cords of my heart. He knew it would hypnotize me, he knew it would capture me. Maybe at that moment he meant it. But it faded.And if it was really forever. Can forever fade?


I am not always so cynical and jaded. Tomorrow my hope will be back. Tomorrow I will be in love with love again. Today Im just thinking with the other half of my brain. We all do it some times. I am not depressed lol..so please don't comment that its sad or whatever. lol Its part of life, and at some point in your life your will agree with this post lol.

P.s girls can be just as bad..right break :(

Where my girls at?

Do you ever feel lonely when standing in a crowd of people? Thats what I felt like on Saturday. A group of us went to 02 as usual. The whole time I was there I was surrounded by friends and people I went to school with but I felt left out and lonely. I couldn't shake this feeling. It was like I knew I didn't belong, I was aching for something more. So I left. Took a cab home. The club scene is getting old for me. Or maybe its the people Im going with.

I was reading a Meghan's blog and she was discussing how harder it is to make new girlfriend then guy friends.And I agree.Girls seem to always feel there is a silent competition between other girls. And most girls get threatened by other girls. I was feel more comfortable with guys, partly because I felt girls always caused problems. Gossiping and whinnying. So much drama! Guys are completely different, they don't worry are fight about things as much.

But now Im missing hanging out with a group a of girls. I haven't had a girls night out in forever. I hang out with my girl friends one at a time. And i hang out with groups of guys. I find it so hard to met new girl friends.Im trying at school right now. And any girl I talk to, rattles on about there boyfriends. Most girls cant seem to function without one. Its quite annoying. My goal of the year is of course to graduation and get a good job. But I also would like to met some new friends. Hopefully make some close friendships.

I want to have a bunch of girls over and watch girly movies and have facials. I want to get all done up with my girls and go dancing all night. Im sick of sitting around watching hockey or being flirted with and touched.

Big Apple

You Belong in New York City
You're an energetic, ambitious woman.And only NYC is fast enough for you.Maybe you'll set yourself up with a killer careerOr simply take in all the city has to offer







What City do you belong in?

SHAKE IT LIKE A SALT SHAKER!!

PARTY TONIGHT

Silly.

Your so misguided.If you only knew.Because I know. Ive seen it from both sides.I've treated every infection. It always comes back. You, always come back.

These and my face transforming pictures.They are sooo funny.
Ape
art...i actually like this one
Baby
Asian..Im hot.
I call this girl..LATISHA! HAHAHA. shes my favorite.
Old lady.

Shes a lady.whoooa..whoooa..whooooa.... tom jones...

All done up for school
My days feel like they are soo long, but then they feel like I do not have enough time to do anything. Everyday I take the bus and wait for the bus for 4 hours. 2HR to get to school and 2HR to get home. Its is such a
- hassle
-annoying
-long
-boring
-tiring
- uncomfortable
Im trying not to talk about people, and Im trying to keep an open mind about people. But I am already annoyed. There are two people in my class who feel the need to answer EVERY question and tell stories about themselves. They talk about there kids and problems.For some reason they seem to think it is a therapy session. Or they feel they need brag themselves up and tell us every aspect about their lives. Maybe they think this will make us like them more. It drives me nuts. We can not get through any lesson without 55 interruptions.

Every person in my class is in a relationship. I am the only single one. I didn't pay ten thousand dollars just for a education, I thought they might throw in a boyfriend too. But gueez if everyone is taken what am I doing here. Im just playing. But I did hope to see some hot single guys. It is only my 3rd day and there are only 2 boys in my class.Ha. I am sure there are many more guys in the school, I will begin my hunt tomorrow.

Today was business dress day. I love dressing up. I love looking professional, one of the reason why I wanted to work in an office was so that I could dress sharply every day. Well who am I kidding it was the biggest reason.I only started my business attire this year.I have a few pairs of dress shirts. 1 blouse and a few dressy sweaters. And one pair of flats and black boots. I'd like to get a suit and a few skirts and more blouses. I felt so sophisticated today. I loved the way I looked.

Thanks to Melanie I am obessed with the face transformer, I have been playing with it for hours. I am going to post my favorite ones.I can't stop laughing at them .I must of tired like 12 different pictures of myself so far.And everyone one in my family. Thank you Girl...this will help with my boredom.

please tell me again what my names is, I seemed to have forgotton!

She took her rag and wiped off the window.Standing there with her hood pulled tightly over her face.She should of wore gloves.Her fingers were so frozen they cracked.She didn't prepare herself,standing there unable to move. She didn't know what her heart was saying when she seen him standing there.He was so small.He had round chubby cheeks.He wore velcro sneaker.Blue overalls and a striped red and black long sleeve shirt.He looked like a prince.He'll surly impress the girls when he is older, she said to herself. At the moment she caught his eye through the window.She was shocked when he raised his hand and spread his fingers.She put her hand on her heart,it was too cold to cry.She turned around and stepped away from the window.

I changed my layout for one second and now i lost all my links and stuff. Booo..Guess i'll have to remember how to do that again.
First day of school. Quite boring and exciting at the same time. I have a headache. And I had homework lol.
Going to be early . Im tired.

Im cooking french fries and fish sticks in a toaster oven. Its been 40 mins and they are still cold. My dad is laying down new tiles for our kitchen so the oven is out side. I have a limit source to cook with. It was either the toaster oven or a microwave.And I hate soggy fries. Maybe I should of just mad a sandwich, but there no counter space and I'd have to lug everything into the living to make it on the coffee table. Too much of a hassle. Our house is a mess.

I rejected the offer to go out tonight. I had three different options, but i backdown for all of them. Im tried and cranky. I was out last night late. I just wanna stay in. But A really cool group of friends are going out tonight. I know it would rock. But of course even if I wasn't tried..Im broke. Well not broke, but I can't be spending it on liquor and cab fares. A night in with my soggy fries and whatever movie is playing on tv should be decent lol.

I had a steller time last night. We were all over the town, cat and i. We went to an early movie. "In her shoes" it was a sweet movie. Then we headed over to joeys house, played some poker and chit-chatter. And then we drug that whole game over to storms. A kareokee club.It was lissa college graduation party. The crowd was small, but the singing was awesome and the people were great. I sucker joey into buying me two shot and two drinks. I was feel buzzed. The only downer of the night was the drunker man, passing out on his stool. I am sure he pooped his pants. Its smelt so vile, so disgusting. OMG.They had to kick him out. We all got a good laugh out of it!

Im straving!!!

She's a charmer.

"Lord give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference?"