I was awaken by a phone call from a call center, I had a telephone interview and I go in tomorrow for testing. I need this job. I need it for the money and for my sanity. I have been in Halifax for 3 weeks and I've applied to over 30 jobs, and I've spent more than 80 percent of my time sitting by the phone and checking my emails. And to my surprise I haven't heard one response. I've been racking my brain wondering, if I wrote my cover letters wrong, or if I had spelling mistakes, obviously I didn't have enough experience. Understandable, but I thought someone would or could take a chance on me.
Donnie is excited, I know he is willing to pay the bills for as long as he needs to, but I think hes getting a little frustrated. I know there are things he wants to buy, or things he wants us to do, but we don't ever have much left over money. I feel a little inadequate, I feel like I am not earning money, or doing anything useful though out the day. I feel bad for spending Donnies money, and I feel a little angry that I can not buy the things I want. Splurge.
I have become a chef, supper time is my favorite time. Donnie laughs at all my recipes, and he usually thinks they sound gross. But he hasn't been disappointed yet. Donnie a little fussy, he's fussy with sauces and veggies. I think he's more into plain food, meat and potatoes. I made Chessy Chicken Rolls the other night and I made Beefy Biscuits tonight. I've been finding recipes online. And I've been trying them out every night. I make full meals and desserts.
I hope someone comes to visit soon, I need to show off my cooking skills.
I feel like I need to be doing something through the day, sitting on the couch watching TV gets old. I clean too. So I just need this job, my head, heart and wallet have been suffering since I came here.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Saturday, November 18, 2006
little ole' Hubley
Writen on Nov.10,06
Lonely. I am in the living room and Donnie is in bed sleeping, he’s been there since 9:30. I just cleaned the bathroom there was so much dirt, I cleaned along the edges and clean the bathtub again. I sat on the toilet to pee and I smelt stinky piss, I searched everywheres and I looked in the bathtub, and the smell got stronger. I ripped up the little flower mats and it was yellow underneath. Ice peed in the bathtub. Later that day he pooped in our bedroom. The carpet is already really stained. Donnie washed it with a carpet cleaner, but it still stinks and the stains didn’t disappear. I sweep the floors like 10 times a day. I never walk around the floor without my dollar store slippers. We couldn’t even afford a pair of real slippers. The floors look dirty, I’ve tried sweeping them and mopping and they still look the same. I was on my hands and knees scrubbing. There’s so much dust and dirt along the baseboards. Its so disgusting. The blinds are dirty, the windows are dirty.
Ice has been hiding under the bed most of the day. He seems just as lonely as me. He’s so bored. I don’t know if I will make it here. Maybe it will get easier when I get a job. OR should I say if. The employers aren’t biting my bait. And I am sort of glad. I feel so depressed. I feel lonely. I don’t want to work. I feel so out of place here. We live in the middle of nowheres. We have to go into town to get close to anything. It’s so dark at night. I feel like we are living in our own separate world. No one even calls me. I have to call everyone and I feel like I am taking up there time. There are so many things that I want for the apartment to spruce it up. I need to make it feel more like a home. We found a couch that we adore, but since I am unemployed I couldn’t apply for the credit card. And since Donnie has bad credit we didn’t get the couch. We are going to wait until Donnie gets him profit sharing. But I have a feeling that when that time comes we won’t get the couch. Nothing has been turning out like it was suppose to. We were supposed to have the internet, and we don’t. We were supposed to work for Andrew on Sundays to make extra money, we haven’t started. I was hoping to have some interviews lined up for this week, and I haven’t heard back from anyone, and I haven’t sent off too many resumes either because of the no internet problem.
Donnie’s been working extra hours, which he has to because we need the money, but it just adds to my loneliness, of course. I can’t even figure out the channels, its takes me about 20 minutes to find the show I want to watch. We don’t even get MTV. This is the channel I watch the most. I can’t even leave the house without Donnie, there’s nothing close enough to walk to, and I’d get lost and bored alone.
When I dreamt of moving to Halifax, I dreamt of an awesome job, going downtown at night, eating of restaurants, meeting tons of friends, stylish furniture and accessories and shopping. I, for sure, didn’t expect the apartment to look the way it does. Nothing has met my expectations. And I am trying so hard to be patient, I’m trying to be open minded, I am trying to be easier on Donnie. I am just disappointed with the way our new, joint life has turned out. I am going to try and be strong and give this more time. Its just a lonely time for me. And I don’t know who to turn to, or how to change it.
Lonely. I am in the living room and Donnie is in bed sleeping, he’s been there since 9:30. I just cleaned the bathroom there was so much dirt, I cleaned along the edges and clean the bathtub again. I sat on the toilet to pee and I smelt stinky piss, I searched everywheres and I looked in the bathtub, and the smell got stronger. I ripped up the little flower mats and it was yellow underneath. Ice peed in the bathtub. Later that day he pooped in our bedroom. The carpet is already really stained. Donnie washed it with a carpet cleaner, but it still stinks and the stains didn’t disappear. I sweep the floors like 10 times a day. I never walk around the floor without my dollar store slippers. We couldn’t even afford a pair of real slippers. The floors look dirty, I’ve tried sweeping them and mopping and they still look the same. I was on my hands and knees scrubbing. There’s so much dust and dirt along the baseboards. Its so disgusting. The blinds are dirty, the windows are dirty.
Ice has been hiding under the bed most of the day. He seems just as lonely as me. He’s so bored. I don’t know if I will make it here. Maybe it will get easier when I get a job. OR should I say if. The employers aren’t biting my bait. And I am sort of glad. I feel so depressed. I feel lonely. I don’t want to work. I feel so out of place here. We live in the middle of nowheres. We have to go into town to get close to anything. It’s so dark at night. I feel like we are living in our own separate world. No one even calls me. I have to call everyone and I feel like I am taking up there time. There are so many things that I want for the apartment to spruce it up. I need to make it feel more like a home. We found a couch that we adore, but since I am unemployed I couldn’t apply for the credit card. And since Donnie has bad credit we didn’t get the couch. We are going to wait until Donnie gets him profit sharing. But I have a feeling that when that time comes we won’t get the couch. Nothing has been turning out like it was suppose to. We were supposed to have the internet, and we don’t. We were supposed to work for Andrew on Sundays to make extra money, we haven’t started. I was hoping to have some interviews lined up for this week, and I haven’t heard back from anyone, and I haven’t sent off too many resumes either because of the no internet problem.
Donnie’s been working extra hours, which he has to because we need the money, but it just adds to my loneliness, of course. I can’t even figure out the channels, its takes me about 20 minutes to find the show I want to watch. We don’t even get MTV. This is the channel I watch the most. I can’t even leave the house without Donnie, there’s nothing close enough to walk to, and I’d get lost and bored alone.
When I dreamt of moving to Halifax, I dreamt of an awesome job, going downtown at night, eating of restaurants, meeting tons of friends, stylish furniture and accessories and shopping. I, for sure, didn’t expect the apartment to look the way it does. Nothing has met my expectations. And I am trying so hard to be patient, I’m trying to be open minded, I am trying to be easier on Donnie. I am just disappointed with the way our new, joint life has turned out. I am going to try and be strong and give this more time. Its just a lonely time for me. And I don’t know who to turn to, or how to change it.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
First night in our apartment
I am actually typing this off line. At the moment we do not have the internet. But soon, hopefully. I spent the first night in my apartment, Donnie and I. And I couldn’t sleep, I guess it’s the new surroundings, my whole body and mind is disorientated. I heard every noise, and the smell was different. It seemed darker than most nights. Our apartment is completely chaotic, boxes upon boxes, big blue garbage bags holding my prized possessions; my clothes. I can’t even think straight when I stand in our kitchen/living room, you can barely see the floor, and we have to tip-toe around everything. I don’t even know how we will get everything in order and organized. It’s overwhelming.
We arrived in Halifax a little after 9; we unloaded the car and then headed to Sobey’s to do our first grocery shopping excursion. I was estimating a 200 bill, and everything thought we were crazy. They were sure that we would spend double that. But our grand total was 197.67, and my sisters gave us a $20 gift certificate. So it was even cheaper. After we got home and put everything away, we remember a few items that we had forgotten, but I think we did fantastic. It only took us close to hours. Haha. I can’t believe we were shopping in a grocery store that long. My cupboards and refrigerator still look bare.
I woke up when Donnie was leaving for work, which was 5:30 am. I was awake way long before that, but I decided if I couldn’t sleep I might as well get up and get started. I have been cleaning for almost 10 hours. I didn’t even take any breaks. I sat down for 10 mins to eat a bowl of cereal. I know I accomplished a lot but I still feel I didn’t make a dent.
I started with the bath. And scrubbed everything down, even the walls and the door. Everything was dusty and gross. Then I hung up our colorful shower curtain and began folding and putting away our towels and linens. Tough thing to accomplish because we have limited amount of storage in this apartment. There is one closet in the whole apartment, no coat closet, not broom closet. We have like 6 cupboards and 3 drawers.
The bathroom is pretty much finished, I just have some pictures and a hand towel rod to hang. But the kitchen is another story. It is still in progress. I washed all the cupboard inside and out. And cleaned the store and oven, I am living the inside of the oven for Donnie, it is disgusting!! I had to wash most of our dishes, and take them all out of the boxes and packages. We have so much garbage piled up in our bedroom. Everything is being stored in the bedroom. We are currently sleeping in the living room on the futon. We are going back home on the weekend to bring the rest of our stuff down, including my comfy bed. I had a lot of trouble again with the storage. We just don’t have enough room for everything. We are going to have to buy a microwave stand with shelves in it. And buy a wardrobe, and maybe some sort of storage unit for our broom, mop, bucket and other stuff. But I don’t even think we have enough room for all of that. The apartment is lets say cozy. Which actually means that it is tiny. We’ll see how it turns out, and if we can fix everything.
I am so worried about finding a job. I am really nervous about job interviews, and I don’t really feel like I am ready to work in the field I studied for. It’s a big step from working in retail.
We left Ice in Moncton until we come back on the weekend to get him. I am glad we didn’t take him this time because he would of went mad with all the chaos. I miss him, I know I will feel better when he is here with me. He’s like my little baby.
I made pasta salad tonight, for tomorrow’s supper. And a garden salad for tonight. We having that and homemade pita pizzas. I am getting hungry, I can’t wait for Donnie to come home. He’s so cute he has called me like 5 times to check up on me. I am feeling a little lonely, but my sisters and mom have called me. I can’t wait until we get our house phone hooked up. I can’t wait for my bed. And our new couch, a rug and to be able to see the ugly floor.
We arrived in Halifax a little after 9; we unloaded the car and then headed to Sobey’s to do our first grocery shopping excursion. I was estimating a 200 bill, and everything thought we were crazy. They were sure that we would spend double that. But our grand total was 197.67, and my sisters gave us a $20 gift certificate. So it was even cheaper. After we got home and put everything away, we remember a few items that we had forgotten, but I think we did fantastic. It only took us close to hours. Haha. I can’t believe we were shopping in a grocery store that long. My cupboards and refrigerator still look bare.
I woke up when Donnie was leaving for work, which was 5:30 am. I was awake way long before that, but I decided if I couldn’t sleep I might as well get up and get started. I have been cleaning for almost 10 hours. I didn’t even take any breaks. I sat down for 10 mins to eat a bowl of cereal. I know I accomplished a lot but I still feel I didn’t make a dent.
I started with the bath. And scrubbed everything down, even the walls and the door. Everything was dusty and gross. Then I hung up our colorful shower curtain and began folding and putting away our towels and linens. Tough thing to accomplish because we have limited amount of storage in this apartment. There is one closet in the whole apartment, no coat closet, not broom closet. We have like 6 cupboards and 3 drawers.
The bathroom is pretty much finished, I just have some pictures and a hand towel rod to hang. But the kitchen is another story. It is still in progress. I washed all the cupboard inside and out. And cleaned the store and oven, I am living the inside of the oven for Donnie, it is disgusting!! I had to wash most of our dishes, and take them all out of the boxes and packages. We have so much garbage piled up in our bedroom. Everything is being stored in the bedroom. We are currently sleeping in the living room on the futon. We are going back home on the weekend to bring the rest of our stuff down, including my comfy bed. I had a lot of trouble again with the storage. We just don’t have enough room for everything. We are going to have to buy a microwave stand with shelves in it. And buy a wardrobe, and maybe some sort of storage unit for our broom, mop, bucket and other stuff. But I don’t even think we have enough room for all of that. The apartment is lets say cozy. Which actually means that it is tiny. We’ll see how it turns out, and if we can fix everything.
I am so worried about finding a job. I am really nervous about job interviews, and I don’t really feel like I am ready to work in the field I studied for. It’s a big step from working in retail.
We left Ice in Moncton until we come back on the weekend to get him. I am glad we didn’t take him this time because he would of went mad with all the chaos. I miss him, I know I will feel better when he is here with me. He’s like my little baby.
I made pasta salad tonight, for tomorrow’s supper. And a garden salad for tonight. We having that and homemade pita pizzas. I am getting hungry, I can’t wait for Donnie to come home. He’s so cute he has called me like 5 times to check up on me. I am feeling a little lonely, but my sisters and mom have called me. I can’t wait until we get our house phone hooked up. I can’t wait for my bed. And our new couch, a rug and to be able to see the ugly floor.
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