Somethings Gotta Give!!!!

Maybe I was not meant to be happy, and to live a fun and exciting life. God has kicked me in the butt this summer. I have actually done NOTHING. The one summery thing I have done is gone to the beach and we didn't even sim because there were too many jelly fish.

We had plans to go to the drive in this weekend. Each weekend for the past 4 or 5 weekends we planned to go and something always got in our way. This weekend I was sure we were going. But I was on call and OF COURSE they needed me. Canceled! We planned to go camping. We didn't go because it rained all weekend. We wanted to go to PEI, couldn't get the time off. Anything we planned was ruined because we had no money, the weather sucked or I couldn't get the time off.

I am soo depressed. My summer sucks. My life sucks. I hate school. And I wish I could love it. I wish I could be dedicated and love waking up to go to school. But no half of the days I can't get my butt out of bed. I hate my work. Its depressing and boring. And Im always on call, waiting around , wasting my day, waiting to see if they need me to work. I can never get time off to do ANYTHING. I never have money. Never. Donnies always in Halifax when I need him, or somethings going on. I don't even have friends anymore, everyone has seemed to have found there path and ran away.

I feel like my summer consisted of renting movies and making pizzas. We did do a lot of walking. The only place I went this summer was amhesrt, 45 mins away. For a funeral. Party!

Honestly I am down in the dumps. And I have been for a while. The only good thing in my life is my family and Donnie. And I am lashing out on him and pushing him away. I guess its how I deal. Which obviously isn't right. But hes been incredible. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend.